Friday, July 31, 2009

Trusting people is just not my forte

And that is NOT because I don't trust them, it's because (even with all my anal worry-wart issues about trusting people) I like to think the best of people, so I DO trust them. And I tend to believe that if I'm kind and thoughtful to others that it will be turned around and I will get the same. And every time, (ok, not EVERY time, I'm just P.O.ed right now) most of the time it comes back and bites me in the behind.

Take this past week for instance- You all know we just moved right? Well before we moved we were renting a house that we had lived in for about 2-1/2 years. So lets go back shall we-

When we found the perfect house to rent it wasn't that the house was perfect, because it was a MESS, but because it was big, and had a great yard, double car garage, wonderful neighborhood, within walking distance to school and it was in our price range. We moved in and lots of agreements, verbal of course, were made with our "friendly Landlords" We cleaned it from top to bottom- the laundry room in the basement was packed full of trash that we removed and hauled away. Just to give you a few of the major nasty things we had to deal with, there was broken glass all over in the back yard and porch area, there was broken glass in the living room, there was urine on the kitchen baseboards, there was 1" thick nasty who knows what all over the master bath counter and sink, mold on the walls, shower, and ceiling of same bathroom. Ok those are the worst things. All of the carpets and walls were nasty, it took about a week to get it liveable inside. And no matter what I cleaned with there was an old house/mixed with pet smell. We were paid for the cleaning time. We were told someone would come and figure out what to do with the glass in the yard problem. Also that the mold problem would be taken care of and someone would be by to paint inside and probably out. We had cleaned the carpets ourselves, took forever, used all kinds of stain removers- very gross, and there were still some really bad stains. So the Landlords offered to have it professionally cleaned- I told them it was ok, not to worry about it because;
A: We had already moved in B: They had already used up most of the previous tenants deposit on repairs and were still planning on having the lawn taken care of, house painted inside and out and a few other things and I didn't want them to spend any more money than they had too.
C: because I was trying to be nice.

Fast forward 2-1/2 years later- It took about a year to get the yard taken care, laid down sod and had underground sprinkers put in- so that the kids could run around in it, the sprinklers worked for a few months, then quite- some kind of plumbing problem, and they never got them fixed. Around that same time they had someone come take care of the bathroom mold. Meanwhile one of the garage doors didn't work- hadn't for a year and neither one of them locked and the stove only had 1 working burner since from about the time we moved in. There had never been any painting done inside or out, we offered when we moved in but they wanted it professionally done. The week after we were all moved out of it, 2 of my, Wonderful, Wonderful Sisters came to help me and we scrubbed that place top to bottom, even the back porch and garage were sparkly. I tried to get ahold of my landlords so someone could do a walk thorough with me before I drove out of the state to our new home. I called and called and left several messages, they had said to call that day or the next when I was done. No one ever got a hold of me and I needed to get driving, I had all the kids and didn't want to be driving all night long. So I finally had to leave.

1 month later after phone calls and emails unanswered, I get a call from them, they said
everything looked great, BUT...... There was an oder that they didn't like and wanted to have the carpets professionally cleaned- so I thought ok, surely I won't be charged the full amount for this It wasn't done before we moved in. So I said ok, two weeks later still hadn't heard back from them about getting our 2,200$ deposit returned. Yesterday I get a call about 6:45 AM, guess who....... they did a walk through with their new tenants and there are markings on several of the walls. And they need to be repainted!!!!!! NO...gasp.... really??????? So here's the clincher- We get to pay for it, and also for the whole carpet cleaning because they offered to do it and I turned them down. Isn't that special. So I got off the phone stomped around, yelled, cried- yes, I cry when I'm mad. I called them back and said if there are markings there because of us I will drive back and paint them- Landlord hesitates- then says ok if thats what I want to do. I say I will call them back.
Now folks- our lease is up there today we have been paying rent on an empty house for a month because our lease wasn't up yet and Hubby needed to be in a new state to start a new job before it was, we let them know 1-1/2 months in advance before we left, but they couldn't get any one in it. 1 week before our lease is up they "found" someone. They weren't going to allow pets and finally decided to. So I still have time to drive there and paint. BUT it would cost me probably 250$ in gas, I would have spend about 11 hours in the car with ALL 4 kids. Buy paint & brushes, paint while watching ALL 4 kids. Hubby said No, it's just not worth it, let it go. So I called back and told her to figure out what that was going to be and then please have a deposit check(whatever was left) ready for my sister to pick up for me that afternoon. They said ok. I got off the phone and cried. And am still mad.

I live my life tryin to be kind, honest, thoughtful to others and it ALWAYS rips me to the core time after time to realize that not everyone is that way. I am a gulliable fool. I don't even know what to say, this is not the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. While I was yelling and crying to Hubby about this whole thing he just smiled very sweetly at me and gave me a hug. I told you so was written sympathetically all over his face, he has been telling me not to count on them giving us ANY of our deposit back all along. And I insisted they would because the place was completely clean when I left what could they possibly not like???
After 11 years of marriage he knows me all to well, and had suspected this was coming. He tells me I'm very sweet and trusting and he loves me. Ok, that helped but I am still mad. I made all kinds of promises to him and myself that I will NEVER let this happen again, I will be more people savy. But He and I know it probably will happen again, because I can't seem to help it.
Sigh, I figured writting it all in here would help purge a bit of my anger and dissapointment. And it has helped.
Thank Goodness for Blogging


Chicago Mom said...

Oh my dear friend, I am SO sorry this has happened to you. It really sucks that these landlords are jerking your chain and there isn't anything you can do. My advice is to give yourself a day to be mad, sad, and cry (because you deserve to), and then let it go. It isn't worth it to dwell on it. I hope you feel better soon!

Donna-FFW said...

Oh I am so sorry that this happened to you, sometimes people do just plain suck, but think of that sweet loving husband who hugged you when you told him.. thats what counts.

thamesarino said...

oh I'm sorry that that happened! I often have the same issues with being too nice. I agree have a day or so to be upset and then let it go because there's nothing else you can do.
I am sorry though, that's a lot of money around here too...and if I made all those imporement I'd want compensation as well!
good luck! : )

Monica H said...


I am so sorry. But you are not a fool. You are a nice person and you got taken advantage of. More people should be like you and it's a shame this all happened. But don't let this all change you.

((hugs)) to you my friend.

a corgi said...

hugs to you; I totally understand your frustration and if I was close by, I would have gone and helped you paint it just for the principal behind the thing because they certainly are not acting very professionally about this whole thing and in my (not) so humble opinion, are being jerks about the whole thing.

we just moved in May and I was livid when we went to go and pay May's rent. We gave notice that we were leaving May 6, the day our lease expired. They made us pay rent for the whole month of May, saying "well if you stay longer than May 6, we won't be able to get your money" (afterwards I thought, "but you have my deposit"). I cleaned that house from top to bottom and thankfully we got everything back, the rent refund, pet deposit and security deposit. It was a nice hefty amount, but they paid it on the 21st day (California law says they need to refund any amount due within 21 days).

I learned something to take pictures of the house before I move in and pictures when I vacate it, time stamped. Also, go through property management company and make sure things are in writing.

so sorry this happened to you; I can totally understand


Lissaloo said...

A BIG Thank You to all my wonderful friends! I felt so much better after writing all of it down, and even better after hearing all your sweet thoughts, I am now thankful that I never have to deal/stress about it ever again! And am letting it go, so that I can move on and think about happier things- like that Chocolate Cherry Cake! ;)

Willoughby said...

I'm sorry things turned out so badly. We had a similar problem when we moved out of our apartment years ago. We wanted to move out before our lease was up and they agreed to terminate our lease if we could find someone to move in. We found someone, got our security deposit back and figured all was well. Fast forward a few years to when we applied for a mortgage and found they had reported four months of unpaid rent on our credit report. We had to pay the full amount to get it taken off and get cleared for our mortgage. Grrrrr.....

I guess you have to chalk it up to another "It is what it is" experience and move on. Just don't let it change who you are because you're the better person in all of this. Take care and enjoy your new home (give hubby a hug, too!)!!

Stephanie Faris said...

I hate being taken advantage of but I really feel that living your life as an open, giving, trusting person is far more rewarding than being cynical and closed off. So don't let these jerks get to you!

Lynn said...

Oh, I really get mad when I hear stories like this. I'm so sorry but glad you can vent here !

We rented a house here but with better results...With 5 kids and a dog,( 19 years ago) they thought they had that $800 deposit in the bag when we left. Boy, did I hand them back a pristine house that looked like no one had lived there and a new family to take up the slack to boot ( I romanced them into taking the house, even though we weren't required to show the house while still living there) The rental agent couldn't believe it when I walked her thru the finished product. She said it looked nicer and cleaner than when she rented to us and she couldn't believe that a family of 7 and a dog had lived there for 9 months. I got a really nice note and a full deposit from her 3 weeks later...she said she wished every tenant family was like ours ! That was my last rental...I hope ! LOL

Thank you!!!

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